The Queen

2011-12-26T05:50:00.000-08:00

mmmyummy *hearts my dessert*

The next day

had my delicious breakfast with my hunny girl

love it !

Merry christmas everyone

2011-12-26T05:41:00.000-08:00

red wine :)

My christmas dinner

My black pepper shirlion steak

Merry christmas world :)

are you ready for the party?

puts ur puts ur hands up

2011-12-13T03:09:00.000-08:00

找不到同一个出口
从现在到心痛要多久
还有没有以后
有时
假装沉默是否有点难受
到底期待像什么
一眨眼又让心伤透

2011-12-12T08:48:00.000-08:00

I don't need a shoulder to cry on,I don't need any hug ...I want to be alone I hate people for cheering me up it makes me feel sick and wanted to run away..

Am I still avoiding? am I?

I felt so tired in a sudden

I felt miserable

i felt this everyday

I really wanted to scream out,but there's noway out.

What's my future?

how it looks like?can anyone tell me?

what happen to me?

it never goes away..

2011-11-09T08:55:00.001-08:00

If you really loves her,why cant you read her mind?

why couldn't just try to understand what she wants?

just staying in the spot doing nothing..

if you really loves a girl,try to understand her not too rush not too fast

it will ruin the relationship and end up misunderstanding each other,to make it worst

everyone has a heart and it will get hurt everyone does..don't think negative about a girl changed

and blame everything that what she had done,stay calm and try to read her mind and refresh back to the things that both of you had done and try to figure it out whats going on..not just sat there and cry doing childish things..this is wasting time to get her back?

there's a reason why a girl leaves a boy,theres a reason she leaves you

and she already did in the begining since the relation start,and your just not smart enough to find it out what was that mean..when a girl leaves you ..she had tired enough to wait for you to change and giving you chance .but her heart is still beating crying inside for you,just to wait for you to get her back..its not a begging all a girl wants is you to change to what she really want you to change..to treat her rights

2011-11-09T08:52:00.000-08:00

If you cant handle a girl..and she ran away, theres a reason why,just to be smart enough to find it out and make it happen,If you cant do it..dont blame the girl that running away..blame yourself for not smart enough to get her back.

2011-11-08T02:18:00.000-08:00

XOXO hug and kisses

Cant wait for my awards night on Zouk on thrusday

2011-10-22T04:42:00.000-07:00

Padi house ♥

with my 4 best beloved

I love them so much

2011-10-22T04:30:00.000-07:00

I'm gona smile like nothing is wrong ,talk like

everything is perfect,act like it's all a dream and pretend

like its not hurting me

2011-10-22T04:08:00.000-07:00

I'm still holding on to something that I know will never

happen,because inside of me ,I have this little piece of hope that someday

it will.

hope you guys enjoy it :)

2011-10-20T10:17:00.000-07:00

The end /game over

2011-10-14T10:56:00.000-07:00

I can’t sleep; everything I ever knew is a lie without you. I can’t breathe when my heart is broke in two, there’s no beat without you. You are not gone, but you are not here. At least that’s the way it seems.

2011-10-09T00:47:00.000-07:00

I'm coming home, tell the world i coming home

2011-10-09T00:40:00.000-07:00

Its been awhile,Still waiting for the farewell
and I just wanted to ask you out for the last time.
I never thought You rejected me.Its that really hard?
just for a day..Its been few years,You said you will wait for me !until 2011
You lied..and you like someone else..Yes you were right! I'm the only fool who stay in the past and wait

2011-09-13T10:04:00.000-07:00

what about me...cant u feel that I'm hurt too..

2011-09-09T09:45:00.000-07:00

When I see your smile, and I know it’s not for me, that’s when I’ll miss you.

2011-08-12T09:23:00.000-07:00

This things happen to me to make me copy is soo true

If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a, bed of roses
Sink me in the river, at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song
Lord make me a rainbow, I'll shine down on my mother
She'll know I'm safe with you when she stands under my colors, oh and
Life ain't always what you think it ought to be, no
Ain't even grey, but she buries her baby
The sharp knife of a short life, well
I've had, just enough time
And I'll be wearing white, when I come into your kingdom
I'm as green as the ring on my little, cold finger, I've
Never known the lovin' of a man
But it sure felt nice when he was holding my hand, there's a
Boy here in town who says he'll love me forever,
Who would have thought forever could be severed by
The sharp knife of a short life, well,
I've had, just enough time
So put on your best boys and I'll wear my pearls
What I never did is done
A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I'll sell them for a dollar
They're worth so much more after I'm a goner
And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singin'
Funny when you're dead how people start listenin'

2011-08-02T10:43:00.000-07:00

we use to be best friendsbut now our friendship is fadingwhat has happened to us? was it something i did?i never wonted to loose you, you were my best friendbut i guess now the time has come its the end and its time to move oni told myself i would never say goodbye but im sorry the time has come.

2011-07-24T09:59:00.000-07:00

We used to be together .Everyday together always
I really feel .That I'm losing my best friend
I can't believe.This could be the end
It looks as though you're letting go
And if it's real ,Well I don't want to know
Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining ,Don't tell me cause it hurt
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me cause it hurts
Our memories Well, they can be inviting
But some are altogether
Mighty frightening
As we die, both you ,us and i
With my head in my hands
I sit and cry

to my beloved best friend

2011-07-22T11:44:00.000-07:00

Its been years we hang out everyday and party all night together.
until that day,I never thought that day was my last day having fun with you
and now you got a new girlfriend, and I feel so disappointed ! no matter how many times I've told u and
tell you ,tease you,You think i mean it to treat you that way?no..!your wrong! i dont mean it
i did all these is to change you and protect you from getting hurt by others *underage girl*like them!Im not looking down on them,I just dont want to see My best friend to get hurt by these useless girls,I feel so so sad that you can ignore us and get with her even i try to text you and others you dont seems to care ,until i post on your fb wall,and you keep giving stupid excuses :)
but now I dont bother anymore, Your not my friend anymore even you come back to me
others might forgive you but not me.it doenst matter to you right? :)and no big deal for me
dO YOU THINK SHE CAN BE WITH YOU FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE? STOP BEING SUCH A CHILDISH KID!?

2011-07-16T11:18:00.000-07:00

There's a story never ends..

2011-07-16T10:47:00.000-07:00

I'm lonely..
I couldn't sleep..
I'm crying..I'm hurt.
I got no one,
can you hear that my heart is crying inside?
I feel so cold inside...so cold..

2011-07-16T10:34:00.000-07:00

boy,I feel bad..
sorry my baby for being such a nasty cage for you..I'm sorry
I wont do that anymore ,although it killing me inside..but I'm still gona endure the pain
and one day i might get used to it =')

broken,its all your fault

2011-07-12T02:54:00.000-07:00

I thought you were my best friend
and i never thought your my worst enemy.

Never grow so close to one person that you rely on them for everything and anything,because it hurts all the more when you find yourself on opposite sides. and it is all the more crippling when they use your darkest secrets as weapons for their brightest triumph against you.

eco lifestyle model search

2011-07-12T02:46:00.000-07:00

my model
well im kinda lazy to type so let the pictures do the talking

My art perfection

2011-07-12T02:32:00.001-07:00

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

so far

2011-07-12T02:27:00.000-07:00

I've been done so far for my class

2011-06-08T12:27:00.001-07:00

Just got home ,fell asleep on the table while finishing my short notes for assignment

My assignment for the very first class =)
Quite tired my half finish work
still got long way to go

2011-06-08T12:21:00.001-07:00

sakae alone (this ain't insane)

Shopping alone at the curve this evening :)
chilling alone at starbucks enjoying my JAva chips yumm =P

2011-06-08T11:54:00.001-07:00

LIve angry pac man?

I look awful

angry bird!!

Facebook live status*what's on your mind? =)
guess which one was mine =P

Facebook live party

yo sup dude ready for party ?
well,I'm kinda lazy to tell the story about that day
sO let the pictures do the talking =P

The winner Team teehee :D

in the end i won the X-man ticket cant believe I wont the ticket XD

Thats it for today

2011-06-07T08:33:00.000-07:00

And that's why... I smile,
It's been a while,
Since everyday and everything has felt this right...
And now,
You turn it all around,
And suddenly you're all I need,
The reason why I
I Smile

Not enough

2011-06-07T08:27:00.000-07:00

It's not enough
it's not enough to give me what it is I want
it's not enough
it's not enough to get me everything I need
And I wish it was
I think its time to give this up.

2011-05-31T07:48:00.000-07:00

You can hide behind your stories
but dont take me for a fool
So don't try to say you're sorry
Or try to make it right
And don't waste you're breath
Because it's too late!

2011-04-19T09:39:00.000-07:00

Get well soon recovery

2011-04-06T00:28:00.000-07:00

What on earth made people think things would be easy? Nothing is, and it never will be. Perfection is pointless and the pursuit of happiness is only achieveable through realising life is unfair…but to make do with small pleasures.People talk about God, but who is this strange bearded man? Does he plan our lives or make it up as he goes along? Reasons and explanations are only required by those who do not appreciate what they have, and spend their lives searching for what they haven’t.

2011-04-06T00:19:00.001-07:00

You know it’s bad when you have a flashback of the good times and try to think of a reason it can’t be like that again.. and when you can’t come up with one… it hurts. a lot.

2011-03-22T09:30:00.000-07:00

Psychological problems..
psychotropic medications..kills me
sleeping pills stable my mind..I got nothing much to say

The truth is tearing up my heart
I can't recognise this place
The endless road without a stop sign
Can't even find a stranger this time...
Why am I still talking to myself?Why am I still holding back my tears?
Maybe this would be the last
The winding path down my face
Till I begin to taste the bitterness inside it just draws me deeper
How do I get out of this
I think~ I never will

2011-03-22T09:22:00.000-07:00

You're beautiful but you don't know
Can't see what's there inside your soul
Always feelin like you're not good enough
You wish you could be someone else
Sometimes you just can't see yourself
But I can see just who you are, who you are
girl i wanted you

2011-03-15T11:09:00.000-07:00

doctor told me to take those pills daily..to make myself stable

2011-03-08T11:51:00.000-08:00

When is it better to be sorry than safe?

To be honest, I cannot think of an example for this. Any time I have used that phrase, “Better to be safe than sorry,” I have meant it. The results of not being safe in those circumstances would have been unpleasant at the very least and on some occasions dangerous. I will ponder this more and see if I can come with a decent example. Right now, my mind is blank.

2011-03-08T11:36:00.000-08:00

mom I'm fine,I am not a child now.
I can take care of myself.
I'm too tired to listen.
I'm too old to believe!
All these childish stories.
There is no such thing as faith,
and trust,I try,
But its too hard to believe.
I try,But I can't see what you see and my whole world is changing,
I don't know where to turn! oh please

2011-03-02T10:05:00.001-08:00

This is the best nightmare shoot :)
special thanks to Alvin for getting me this picture

2011-03-02T09:28:00.000-08:00

shes screaming

My nightmares,some pieces are still missing..

2011-03-02T08:54:00.000-08:00

walk away

When I said hello to you, I never thought I would end up having to say goodbye so soon.I still cant accpt the fact..really cant accpt it.farewell my friend dont look back

2011-02-20T10:30:00.001-08:00

I felt ashamed for what I had done. I don’t have any excuses. I did what I did. I take full responsibility for myself and my actions. I wouldn’t pawn this off on anybody. I’m sorry it happened. And I hurt people.

2011-02-07T10:08:00.000-08:00

WHY? am i really look like a lesbian?why so many lesbian fall for me? why?!fuck off!
by the way ,I got a boyfriend I dont like girls!this prove that I'm not a lesbian!duh!

2011-02-06T11:26:00.000-08:00

The pain in me, nobody knows..The pain in me, nobody cares..they saw me as an obeject Sometimes they forget, Im more than that Im hurted, yes Im sad But no one cares, yes nobody cares The tears in me,The fear in me,Nobody see, nobody feel Im enough with all of this As I know, the road gonna end soon And the season gonna change soon And am gonna return to the One the One who really sees me, really care about me Dont cry little girl you’re not alone,The pain u have for several years gonna end soon,You gonna leave those who hurts you,You gonna meet One who love you…Dont be sad, my dear dont be sad..No matter who you are, you are the best!Dont be down my dear, dont be down Im with you, Because im inside of you! Keep smiling and stand still Show them, you’re not ill Dont worry, its all about ur WILL I know exactly how do u feel.

My dear inner soul, thanks for listening =)

note to self:

2011-02-06T10:38:00.000-08:00

I'm just kidding

Feelings of the Heart of mine

Redness spreads from the corners and surround a hazel circle,

Salty water forms on the tip of a glacier,

They accumalate at the lowest point and start to overflow,

Big droplets of salty water roll down soft pink hills,

They meet at the pointiest and lowest part of earth,

And fall onto rocks in space,

Rocks are destroyed not from the saltiness but from the bitterness,

Overwhelmed feelings surround the earth,

And it closes all its holes,

The salty water falls faster,

And all sound is held,

The pink hills turn red,

And the pressure in earth increases,

Giving up, a small hole opens, and out rushes a soulful erratic wind,

All other planets, worried about earth, surround her,

And try to calm her down from all worries,

But still being new to this universe, earth is unable to calm down,

They tell her that producing salty water will ruin her beauty,

She says to hell with it,

Beauty won't make her succeed,

If it's salty water that will bring success, then I'll have rivers of it everywhere,

But to keep it all inside, is something she refused to do,

It all had to come out,

But to who she didn't know.

2011-02-06T10:19:00.000-08:00

What a stupid thing to do- (when it rains it pours)
and not to mention -(I drank too much)
I'm feeling hung over- (and out of touch)

And not to mention- (the tears I shed)
can it be easier? can i just changed my life?tell me what to do?
cause it just seem to go bad everytime

2011-02-04T08:24:00.000-08:00

='(

2011-01-26T01:29:00.001-08:00

I’m afraid of failing… Every teenager has a dream, and we are all trying to reach this target. Some of us succeed. Some of us don’t. And I really don’t want to be one of these who fail… I want to have the future I want, and not the future someone else has decided for me. I’m trying hard to turn my dreams into reality, but what if I fail, however well prepared I am? What if during the days of the final exams I’m sick, and all my effort was for nothing? These thoughts cross my mind all the time, and my fear is not going to leave until the day that I won’t be a student any more.

2011-01-26T01:26:00.000-08:00

Up until now, I thought that I wasn’t afraid of anything. This was wrong though. I realised that I am afraid of many different things, and I don’t know if I’ll ever get over these phobias.

2011-01-20T08:41:00.000-08:00

I'm looking for someone to share my pain
Someone who I can run to
Who will stay with me when it rains
Someone who I can cry with through the night
Someone who I can trust whose heart is right
And I'm looking for someone

2011-01-20T08:31:00.000-08:00

I'm looking for a lover not a friend
Somebody who can be there when I need someone to talk to
I'm looking for someone who won't pretend
Somebody not afraid to say
The way they feel about you
And I'm looking for someone who understands
How I feel
Someone who can keep it real
And who knows the way
The way I like to have it my way
And I'm looking for someone who takes me there
Wants to share
Shows he cares
Thinkin' you're the one that I've been waiting for

2011-01-19T03:23:00.000-08:00

tired of living

2011-01-19T03:09:00.000-08:00

Im going to smile and make you think Im happy, Im going to laugh, so you dont see me cry, Im going to let you go in style, and even if it kills me, Im going to smile.

2011-01-09T01:54:00.000-08:00

Let the pictures do the talking...
this is how i feel

Bieber hater

2011-01-07T23:54:00.000-08:00

I've been a really big fan of celebrity magazine etc since high school.however,a couple of days ago,i picked up an issue
of celebrity magazine etc and i wasn't pleased with what i saw,first of all,how can u guys put justin bieber on the cover?i dont mean to sound harsh but he is not a musician,he's more like a joke.he should go back to high school and study instead of dancing and *trying* to sing with usher and let the real talented singers shine

2010-12-25T08:26:00.000-08:00

Of all the things i believe in ,i just want to get it over with
tears from behind my eyes ...but i do not cry
Counting the days that past me by
I've been searching deep down in my soul
Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old...
looks like im starting all over again
The last three years were just pretend and i say
Goodbye to you ,goodbye to everything i thought i knew
you were the one i love
The one thing that i tried to hold on to
i still get lost in your eyes
and it seems like i can't live a day without you
closing my eyes till you chase my thoughts away
to a place where i am blinded by the light but it's not right ...
It hurts to want everything & nothing at the same time
i want whats yours and i want whats mine i want you but i'm not giving in this time !

2010-12-09T05:35:00.000-08:00

Gone insane madness!

For this world to stop hating?
Cant find a good reason.Cant find hope to believe.
This cant last forever.Time wont make things better.I feel so alone,
Cant help myself,
And no one knows,if this is worthless?
Tell me !what have we done?with a war that cant be won!
This cant be real!
I dont know what to feel!just cant find hope to belive! so..how far will we take this?
Its not hard to see through the fakeness...

xmas is coming

2010-12-08T01:12:00.000-08:00

2010-11-29T02:30:00.000-08:00

Hey, so what did I say last time about telling people to fuck off?

Yeah well guess who didn't when the time came?

Horrible shit happened because of it, and it was honestly because no one told her to fuck off while she was doing what she was doing, in the interest of not making a scene and ruining the night. Well it did anyway!

That's all I'll say, but we were all played that night. Any chances I was asked to give 'er are gone now. It's done. All her shit is in the open. And it wont work again.

Fuckin' slut

As good as it gets (at least so far)

2010-11-29T01:46:00.000-08:00

I've sat down about a hundred times over the past few months to write a post in here, but I've never managed to finish one. Perhaps this time I will! So, it's been a long while since I've blogged and an awful lot has changed over the past while so let's try to catch up a bit, shall we?
here we go :)
Sometimes I find myself wondering how the fuck I got so lucky, but I suppose I must have built up my karma in a past relationship because things could not be better. Life in this city is the same as ever, but there's still room for new friends and some amazing nights out so I'm content here for the time being. I'm dying to get out and see more of the world, but the timing isn't quite right yet.

2010-08-06T06:52:00.000-07:00

When somebody loved me, everything was beautiful
Every hour we spent together, lives within my heart
And when he was sad, I was there to dry him tears
And when he was happy, so was i, when he loved me.
Through the summer and the fall, we had each other, that was all
Just he and I together, like it was meant to be
And when he was lonely, I was there to comfort him
And I knew that he loved me.
So the years went by, I stayed the same
And he began to drift away, I was left alone
Still I waited for the day, when he’d say "i will always love you."
Lonely and forgotten, never thought he’d look my way,
She smiled at me and held me, just like he used to do,
Like he loved me, when he loved me

2010-08-03T21:26:00.000-07:00

Love? i think i dont need anymore..

FUCK HIM AND HER o0o cheap

2010-07-21T04:28:00.000-07:00

nothing can stop the pain thats on the inside
for a moment everything is perfect
i scar myself you see i wish i wasnt me save me from myself
would you be my little cut?
you feel better when you cannot feel
deep inside im bleeding full of broken promises and lies
sometimes the only thing left to do is give up
im gona smile like nothings wrong talk like everythings perfect act like its just a dream
pretend he isnt hurting me.Im the girl that hold it all regret it all later
sometimes im tired of smiling when im really sad and hurt until i cant control my emotions
sometimes i wana go to sleep and wish to never wake up
they think they know me but the person that really know is the person i pretend to be..
there is no happiness

2010-07-21T04:18:00.000-07:00

PPl tell me u cant hear bcoz ur gone
i tell them u might be gone in their eyes but not in mine
bcoz u still in my heart and always will be
i cry when i think fo you
frens ask me why
i tell them how i felt and i love you
and that i miss you soo much
they tel me i have no point in still loving you
bcoz ur gone and u will
be never ever come bck
and i agree with them..ur gone and i hope one day we will meet agn
i promised..i pray to god everynite asking him to keep u safe
and i talk to him about meeting u agn
i try to be happy not i cant when i know tat wont hear ur voice
for a long time.i always tot i could live without u.
but i really feel i cant
i nvr tot u have left me
and make me hurt soo much
i dont think anyone really knows how much it hurts to be missing you
i hate you not being around
i wish i could see u one last time
so i could say gd bye.no one understand me anymore..
i wish tat..tht i could look bck on the gd times with you*regret
but that has all gone..now everything has changed
and even thinking about it makes me cry..cry so much

2010-07-18T00:03:00.000-07:00

Don't go changin'That's what you told me from the start.Thought you were somethin'differentThat's when it all just fell apart
Like your so perfect,And i can't measure up
Well i'm not perfect.Just all messed up
I was losing myself to somebody else
But now i see
And i don't wanna pretend..So this is the end of you and me'cause the girl that you want She was tearin' us apart
'cause she's everything.Everything i'm not
It's not like i need somebody
Telling me where i should go at night
Don't worry you'll find somebody
Someone to tell how to live their life
'cause your so perfect
And no one measures up
Yeah all by yourself
Your all messed up

2010-07-15T07:29:00.000-07:00

我真的受伤了

2010-07-12T06:18:00.000-07:00

Waiting~waiting~waiting~

2010-07-11T02:42:00.001-07:00

我的心在哭…

2010-07-10T22:14:00.000-07:00

回憶還是溫熱的但承諾已經冷卻了我的天真在淚水裡沉淪
孤獨它讓我無法負荷不用假裝還愛著捨不得還是放開了
我的天真早就碎成遍地的忐忑失去了所有顏色
這次我真的痛了真的徹底醒了我試著灑脫換來的只是傷痕
我愛到痛了你卻留下我一個人埋葬我的天真還能夠說些什麼當快樂已經掏空了我的天真早就成遍地的忐忑努力拼湊著卻再也無法完整這次我真的痛了真的徹底醒了
我試著灑脫換來的只是傷痕我愛到痛了你卻留下我一個人埋葬我的天
我哭的累了沒有夢是好的別再說愛我你給的全是悔恨
我愛到痛了你卻留下我一個人
埋葬我的天真

2010-07-09T01:11:00.000-07:00

Nobody could hear me. This type of loneliness is the most pitiful
To once give so much love could be so lonely
Why can't you understand the freedom that I want?
It took only one word to let you leave me far behind
Don't let me think that at the end, happiness is broken
That during the loneliest time, one can never shed a tear
Say you love me, whisper it to me please..
For it's been so long that I have forgotten this kind of touching moment
Love is too difficult to comprehend and we still cannot understand
Which of those happiness and sorrow were real?
Even if you cannot prove how long you can love me for
I know how you wish to hide away, but I'm not asking for much
Can we sms for this one last minute?can dont ignore me?
Say you love me just once please...say you miss me say your not gona leave me alone..i beg you..please 一秒也好一秒可以給多少我都想要因为我爱你..

2010-07-08T23:36:00.001-07:00

I fake a smile

wo zhen de jie shou bu dao..ni gen na wei nv shen pai zao..
hai shi hen qing mi de pai..ni dao di zhi bu zhi dao wo de gan shou..
wo de xin zhen de hen tong..lei ye liu wan le..wo mei li le..
wo zhen de hen ai ni..wo ye xi wang ni ye shi yi yang ai wo..
你快乐吗? 想代替你回答...

我不想你一天里面都不找我
因为我会着急..我不想你和其他女生很要好因为我会胡思乱想我会吃醋...
where you go..why didn pick up my call and replying my msg..
you dont wan me anymore?
you wana leave me? tell me why..everytime i sms you ignore me..
i miss you and i hope u feel the same do you love me?
I feel like answering that for you...It hurts when you ignore me...

2010-07-08T02:36:00.001-07:00

Truth is
sometimes i miss you so bad and it hurts
tell me why are you doing this to me
its already been 3days ... treating me so cold why?

hurt me so bad

2010-07-07T08:59:00.001-07:00

LOVE HURTS?

Everyone says love hurts but thats not true. Loneliness hurts, rejection hurts, losing someone hurts, envy hurts. Everyone gets these things confused with love, but in reality love is the only thing in this world that covers up all pain and makes someone feel wonderful again. Love is the only thing in... this world that does not hurt.:)♥

Hell no to you

2010-07-07T08:45:00.000-07:00

But I believe this is all thanks to you. How much of a bitch I am. How I stand up for myself no. How I won't let anyone get close to me. It may took me a while to realize why I'm such a bitch, but I known it for a while now. It's all because of you. You destroyed me, all the innocent I had. You fucking destroyed it and abuse me. Look what you've created. A blunt bitch that everyone hates. I guess that isn't surprising right? Who would want to be friends with me? The "special ED" girl - just because I wasn't fluent in speaking English. You've all hurt me in ways that changed my whole childhood.

I guess I do have to thank you. Because of you, this is where I am now. Independent. I don't need a bullshit from anyone. I can leave. I can realize what I need and what I don't. I can let go easily. If this didn't happen to me, I would've been like the other girls always leaning on each others for help all the time. Thanks to you son of a bitch, I learned to stand up and know my voice.What the hell did I see in you? You use me. You push me around and you take all the credits that rightfully belongs to me. You'd ditch me in a second for ANYONE better. But comes back to me when you need help with school work. I guess that helped didn't it? Being smart... because I'll actually have someone to talk to.

But I can't believe I was your friend. If it was now, I wouldn't be your friend, at all. Why would I? You're such a manipulating bitch. I don't know if you changed or not, but all I have in my mind is that little girl who goes around pushing me and getting nose bleed.

Well, let's get this out there. I despise you.

2010-07-07T08:36:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, I have a gut feeling that I am letting myself miss so many things because I am always this person who deals with responsibilities and obligations first. Sometimes, I ponder on whether or not I must also allot time to enjoy time with friends or spend idle times doing stupid things, doing nothing, but I always end up feeling guilty and thinking of the things I should have done during those times…because that’s what a responsible person should do. Sometimes, I think I am taking my being “responsible” a little too seriously. I know I have a lot of things to do but I get it that my life isn’t just about doing responsible and mature things. I am also entitled to make my own mistakes. So whenever I am out to have fun, I forget all control and just lose myself to the moment, which is really stupid. But hey, I am entitled to my dose of stupidity once in a while.I just want to feel alive. I want to become the person who is not afraid to do things on my own and to love despite of and regardless off. I want to be able to do things my way, where I will only answer to my own decisions and not make them just to be approved of or please other people. I want to be fearless in embracing life, its flaws and all. I want to be fun. I really need some ME time….bad!
i freaking miss my boy right now
i wonder what his doing :(

grow up bitch

2010-07-07T08:29:00.001-07:00

Time were nasty

“…and there was no other direction to go…”

In every decision we make, we tend to get a feeling of whether it is wrong or right before everything goes for the better…or worst. If it sends you to a better place, then you must have done something good. But if it is sending you downhill and it feels that you can’t escape, you got no choice but hold on and brace yourself for all the consequences that you have to face… and even if you try your mightiest to escape, all the more that these problem and consequences stick around and bother you, unfinished businesses, keeping you from moving forward with your life… And at that same point, through all your uncertainties, pain, remorse, regret and efforts to change, you will realize that you actually have a lot more to learn…It is at that point that you start to really GROW UP.

“I feel done, I feel raked over coals, and all that remains is the case…that it’s a bitch to grow.”

It’s ironic right? Had you known what’s gonna be the ending of your conquests, would you have done it regardless of the future?

2010-07-07T08:15:00.000-07:00

hey guys..sorry for not updating my blog for soo super duper long haha
days and weeks i had alot of things happen in my life..
something about love?
about family? friendship

make me depressed so much..
and i nvr sleep well :( sick sommore
my body is getting worst and weak dont know wat happen
or i just think too much?making myself suffer..
i just dont know when only i can back to normal..my life is getting worst alot problems happen
and my body is getting weak..sigh..

2010-06-02T01:05:00.000-07:00

I only ask once..
No reply ignore my sms? i will never ever talk to u again!

2010-05-23T02:24:00.001-07:00

HATES
yea felt hate inside of me..
is true that i hate somone so much!

2010-05-23T02:16:00.000-07:00

well today went pyramid with frens..
took alot of picas..haha
nandos for dinner

2010-05-21T22:09:00.000-07:00

Du 9 lan..
dont want go den tell me early la no need give soo many excuse. to avoid me
sms u ask u den no reply only know how to sms YOur so called STEVEN
sohai!..call u only know how to pick up den i ask why nvr reply den say 9.30 sms how to reply? wat fucking bullshhit reason is that you wake up jor can reply de meh? fuck u la!?i diam diam only u think i stupid? make me du 9 lan! really fake la u..mahai..

2010-05-19T23:26:00.000-07:00

Riko tatsuki & viko tatsuki?
only the *R* is diffrent right?
i put this name adi been years ago..now u scolding me on ur fucked up made in china fake facebook? with full of my copyrights? hello bitch
this is for you
COPYCATS
ppl who imitate others
YOu who dont have any ORIGINALITy
your the one who waste ur time on copyin my copytights!
yet in th end your fail bcoz cant make an indentical version of somthingXD
hey rotten brain bitch
LEARN to be yourself once in a while
you'll never know how creative you are unless you try!
uselss son of a bitch

2010-05-17T08:29:00.000-07:00

i'd never had so much fun with one person before
its undeseribable how much i love you
and i know for a fact that i will love you for the rest of my life
even when i die i will still love you
and i would never ever want to hurt you
im sorry about how i acted and i regret how i treated you so much
i know this wont help much but im sorry just hope u can forgive me all my love

For you asshole

2010-05-17T07:26:00.000-07:00

Bitch..
can you pls stop doing this shit?
is so freakin disgusting u know?
I hate u so much ! and btw your soo fake
stop babe here babe there! ppl 1st add u or know u they sure think that your soo nice
for me and for us your soo fake and stop acting nice infront of my friends!
when ppl asking u or *an shi * you how come u still dont understand
when i did something more worst to u at ur back and how come u know dat im saying bout u?
walao eh..you so sibeh professional leh..*claps claps*bravo..
you make me speechless..:)until i dont know how to mention about u..if u still wana do this kinda fucked up things go on~ i dont care anymore u wana snatch all my frens go ahead~ bitch your soo selfish..why are u treating me like this? btw im not your toy or watever after using than throw me away! 1st i treat u as a friend..but i didn know dat you want to know me is just to snatching my friendsaway calling them babe walao..and tell me dat their ur babes?.oh no..u broke my heart!.hmm why am i such a dummy?even the guy i like u also wana snatch now? tell me why? wat i did to u? and wat u want frm me? why are u snatching them 1 by 1..even my babes u also wana take away..the guy i loved the guy i wana be with YOu also wana snatch?i am soo fucking hurt you know? i just dont know wth wrong with you bitch..

2010-04-18T00:44:00.001-07:00

the us..=)

alive

2010-04-18T00:15:00.000-07:00

my lazy ugly face xD

Okay im back to blogger xD
simple post here to make my bloggie alive..

something bad
happen to me so the reason why i never touch and update..

1. i've hurt somone that i love

2.the bitch that i hate now i lazy fuck her

3.i treat her as my best friends..since dat day we 1st met..she treat me too..
same with others
but i dont know why i saw her fb always appear their name but not me.. :(
i did so much just for her..i think im her nthTT

4.waiting my dad

5.moody coz Mr lai. saw me smoking..i takut he gona tell the whole class

6.i feel empty

7.i need somone soo much..i hate being alone

8.Im still waiting but still dont know wat im waiting for..

9.im on diet..trying to control

10.lack of alcohol

11.I hate school i hate those teachers..dont knwo why this few weeks keep on scolding me
sohai wan..

12.Im single and i love it somtimes feel lonely..nobody chat with..

13 .staring at my phone waiting somone text me and call..

14.I miss ian haha

15.Feel regret never out with babe jenri today..

16.hate myself for thinkin too much

17.I hate u

18.I dont know what i want..

19.I wana feel love..

20.I HATE GOIN TO SCHOOL!

21. stress of study undang

22.i wana hang out

2010-03-27T21:39:00.000-07:00

My life turns grey..
im not perfect at all...like u said nobody
tell me..why?
im a human too..i'll get hurt too..u always care bout yourself u wont care bout others!
why are u so selfish..why are u blame everything on me?it hurts me so bad
i just wan your attention..
how about me? nothing?only your the right!i adi wait u for years! in the end i get nothing!those are my best friends what the hell wrong with you? telling me shits! im a human too i have best friends dont tell me ypu dont have?!then how about u? did i fuck u telling about those fucked up stuff this and that? i got alot male friends cant?i dont knwo ur jealous or wat! how about u u got alot of female friends too did i say a word? i never! this is my life and its non of your business! and is over between us..everytime i jus wan u to know how i feel..but in the end we argue..so forget it
being with u last time why im the one said break up 1st? and i wana know why being with you cant tell other thats we're coupleing? and need to hide!
im so tired of this! im hurt when u say that ..this is my only choice to say is over !and thx you did a great job!

2010-03-03T07:17:00.000-08:00

Fuck that little sissy uneducated bastard. The system didn't fail him. His parents failed and he disappointed his parents. The world is ten percent what happens to you and ninety percent what you do with it.!!

2010-02-27T06:15:00.000-08:00

I try to see but I'm blinded by the white light I can't remember how I can't remember why I'm lying here tonight And I can't stand the pain
And I can't make it go away
No I can't stand the pain!
Got no where to run .The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me
Everybody's screaming
I try to make a sound but no one hears me!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

2010-02-18T07:13:00.000-08:00

daddy when i saw those video..my tears keep rolling down on my cheeks..
im so sorry that i nvr back kuantan with you..
i saw ur money keep fly away from the wallet..
and saw them treat u like a clown..
why are u soo stupid...=(

2010-02-16T23:03:00.000-08:00

Move on~!
forget the past..try to move on!
dont look back..never ever! i promised! i swear!

2010-02-12T06:29:00.000-08:00

Riko Current change to a money spender again~
SHOPPING~
BOUGHT ALOT OF SEXY CUTIES CLOTHES,SHOES,PANTS,SUN GLASSES
GONE SUPER DUPER CRAZY!
BUY ALOT COSMETICS SUCH AS M.A.C HELLO KITTY MY FAV,CYBER COLOUR LIP GLOSS SOO FUCKING CUTIES,AND DADDY GONA BUY ME A 10 K WATCH WEEHEE

2010-02-02T01:43:00.000-08:00

What shall i do?

2010-01-31T06:18:00.000-08:00

I give all my time to my friends?
how bout u give all your time to your target?
when i sms always sms half way and never reply me..now u say i give all my time to my friends?
yea so what? i dont find my friends find who? you? oh please dont fucking think dat your the right 1
say dat i dont care bout ur feelings? how about me? do u care? i dont think so
im spoiled you already know that..
and i already know when i need somone and theres no one will be there ..
and im alone..im behaving like kid so wat? how bout u? very mature?
arghh forget it..

2010-01-30T05:35:00.000-08:00

Just back from city harvest ...
the end of my post..simple post for not making my blog dead =S
at least i got post a lil la lol

2010-01-07T07:40:00.001-08:00

i just watched this video of animal killing masscare.
fck those mutha fking china bitches.
they kill th animal when it's alive
they chop of their legs
they skin them alive
they step on their necks&heads till they DIE
they throw them around&beat them with huge ugly sticks till they die.
&they say th more torture for th animal,th more tender th meat is
what kinda fucking rule is that ???
why dont they just BURN IN HELL!
i wish God would skin them alive
beat them till they die.
tie their necks to a branch&hit them like they were pinnatas.
gah..
my eyes are now so red from all th crying
i really <3>

2010-01-07T07:19:00.001-08:00

my mood has been absolutely terrible these few days.dumb fck.
gah, im starting to think alot.
i dont have people to call FRIENDS.
i need company
i am impatient
i have a mutha fcking attitude problem
i spew too much vulgarities
i am such a nuscience
i disturb people alot
i keep taunting people till they get so fed up with me
i cried last night cus' i just realised no one really cares.
i mean they say they care, but inside, they don't seem to bother.
even my parents don't realise i exist.
God just brought me down here to see my suffer my ass off
he might as well send me to hell&let me burn away.
i dont see his fcking point here.
why is my life so full of shit?
people dont realise it but i do.
most of my "friends" dont realise i have feelings.
they think of me when they're super bored.
what the hell ?
am i that dead or invisible.
i seriously hate this shit.